The reason most people are bad
is because they do not try to
be good. Now, the Nome King had
never tried to be good, so he
was very bad indeed. Having decided
to conquer the Land of Oz and
to destroy the Emerald City and
enslave all its people, King
Roquat the Red kept planning
ways to do this dreadful thing,
and the more he planned the more
he believed he would be able
to accomplish it.
About the time Dorothy went
to Ozma the Nome King called
his Chief Steward to him and
said:
"Kaliko, I
think I shall make you the
General of my armies."
"I think you won't," replied
Kaliko, positively.
"Why not?" inquired
the King, reaching for his
scepter with
the big sapphire.
"Because I'm your Chief Steward
and know nothing of warfare," said
Kaliko, preparing to dodge if
anything were thrown at him. "I
manage all the affairs of your
kingdom better than you could
yourself, and you'll never find
another Steward as good as I
am. But there are a hundred Nomes
better fitted to command your
army, and your Generals get thrown
away so often that I have no
desire to be one of them."
"Ah, there is some truth in
your remarks, Kaliko," remarked
the King, deciding not to throw
the scepter. "Summon my army
to assemble in the Great Cavern."
Kaliko bowed and retired, and
in a few minutes returned to
say that the army was assembled.
So the King went out upon a balcony
that overlooked the Great Cavern,
where fifty thousand Nomes, all
armed with swords and pikes,
stood marshaled in military array.
When they were not required
as soldiers all these Nomes were
metal workers and miners, and
they had hammered so much at
the forges and dug so hard with
pick and shovel that they had
acquired great muscular strength.
They were strangely formed creatures,
rather round and not very tall.
Their toes were curly and their
ears broad and flat.
In time of war every Nome left
his forge or mine and became
part of the great army of King
Roquat. The soldiers wore rock-colored
uniforms and were excellently
drilled.
The King looked upon this tremendous
army, which stood silently arrayed
before him, and a cruel smile
curled the corners of his mouth,
for he saw that his legions were
very powerful. Then he addressed
them from the balcony, saying:
"I have thrown
away General Blug, because
he did not please
me. So I want another General
to command this army. Who is
next in command?"
"I am," replied
Colonel Crinkle, a dapper-looking
Nome, as he
stepped forward to salute his
monarch.
The King looked at him carefully
and said:
"I want you
to march this army through
an underground tunnel,
which I am going to bore, to
the Emerald City of Oz. When
you get there I want you to conquer
the Oz people, destroy them and
their city, and bring all their
gold and silver and precious
stones back to my cavern. Also
you are to recapture my Magic
Belt and return it to me. Will
you do this, General Crinkle?"
"No, your Majesty," replied
the Nome; "for it can't be done."
"Oh indeed!" exclaimed the
King. Then he turned to his servants
and said: "Please take General
Crinkle to the torture chamber.
There you will kindly slice him
into thin slices. Afterward you
may feed him to the seven-headed
dogs."
"Anything to oblige your Majesty," replied
the servants, politely, and led
the condemned man away.
When they had gone, the King
addressed the army again.
"Listen!" said he. "The
General who is to command my
armies must
promise to carry out my orders.
If he fails he will share the
fate of poor Crinkle. Now, then,
who will volunteer to lead my
hosts to the Emerald City?"
For a time no one moved and
all were silent. Then an old
Nome with white whiskers so long
that they were tied around his
waist to prevent their tripping
him up, stepped out of the ranks
and saluted the King.
"I'd like to ask a few questions,
your Majesty," he said.
"Go ahead," replied
the King.
"These Oz people
are quite good, are they not?"
"As good as apple pie," said
the King.
"And they are happy, I suppose?" continued
the old Nome.
"Happy as the day is long," said
the King.
"And contented and prosperous?" inquired
the Nome.
"Very much so," said
the King.
"Well, your Majesty," remarked
he of the white whiskers, "I
think I should like to undertake
the job, so I'll be your General.
I hate good people; I detest
happy people; I'm opposed to
any one who is contented and
prosperous. That is why I am
so fond of your Majesty. Make
me your General and I'll promise
to conquer and destroy the Oz
people. If I fail I'm ready to
be sliced thin and fed to the
seven-headed dogs."
"Very good! Very good, indeed!
That's the way to talk!" cried
Roquat the Red, who was greatly
pleased. "What is your name,
General?"
"I'm called
Guph, your Majesty."
"Well, Guph, come with me to
my private cave, and we'll talk
it over." Then he turned to the
army. "Nomes and soldiers," said
he, "you are to obey the commands
of General Guph until he becomes
dog-feed. Any man who fails to
obey his new General will be
promptly thrown away. You are
now dismissed."
Guph went to the King's private
cave and sat down upon an amethyst
chair and put his feet on the
arm of the King's ruby throne.
Then he lighted his pipe and
threw the live coal he had taken
from his pocket upon the King's
left foot and puffed the smoke
into the King's eyes and made
himself comfortable. For he was
a wise old Nome, and he knew
that the best way to get along
with Roquat the Red was to show
that he was not afraid of him.
"I'm ready for the talk, your
Majesty," he said.
The King coughed and looked
at his new General fiercely.
"Do you not tremble to take
such liberties with your monarch?" he
asked.
"Oh no," replied Guph, calmly,
and he blew a wreath of smoke
that curled around the King's
nose and made him sneeze. "You
want to conquer the Emerald City,
and I'm the only Nome in all
your dominions who can conquer
it. So you will be very careful
not to hurt me until I have carried
out your wishes. After that--"
"Well, what then?" inquired
the King.
"Then you will be so grateful
to me that you won't care to
hurt me," replied the General.
"That is a very good argument," said
Roquat. "But suppose you fail?"
"Then it's the slicing machine.
I agree to that," announced Guph. "But
if you do as I tell you there
will be no failure. The trouble
with you, Roquat, is that you
don't think carefully enough.
I do. You would go ahead and
march through your tunnel into
Oz, and get defeated and driven
back. I won't. And the reason
I won't is because when I march
I'll have all my plans made,
and a host of allies to assist
my Nomes."
"What do you mean by that?" asked
the King.
"I'll explain,
King Roquat. You're going to
attack a fairy
country, and a mighty fairy country,
too. They haven't much of an
army in Oz, but the Princess
who ruled them has a fairy wand;
and the little girl Dorothy has
your Magic Belt; and at the North
of the Emerald City lives a clever
sorceress called Glinda the Good,
who commands the spirits of the
air. Also I have heard that there
is a wonderful Wizard in Ozma's
palace, who is so skillful that
people used to pay him money
in America to see him perform.
So you see it will be no easy
thing to overcome all this magic."
"We have fifty thousand soldiers!" cried
the King proudly.
"Yes; but they are Nomes," remarked
Guph, taking a silk handkerchief
from the King's pocket and wiping
his own pointed shoes with it. "Nomes
are immortals, but they are not
strong on magic. When you lost
your famous Belt the greater
part of your own power was gone
from you. Against Ozma you and
your Nomes would have no show
at all."
Roquat's eyes flashed angrily.
"Then away you go to the slicing
machine!" he cried.
"Not yet," said
the General, filling his pipe
from the King's
private tobacco pouch.
"What do you propose to do?" asked
the monarch.
"I propose to obtain the power
we need," answered Guph. "There
are a good many evil creatures
who have magic powers sufficient
to destroy and conquer the Land
of Oz. We will get them on our
side, band them all together,
and then take Ozma and her people
by surprise. It's all very simple
and easy when you know how. Alone,
we should be helpless to injure
the Ruler of Oz, but with the
aid of the evil powers we can
summon we shall easily succeed."
King Roquat was delighted with
this idea, for he realized how
clever it was.
"Surely, Guph, you are the
greatest General I have ever
had!" he exclaimed, his eyes
sparkling with joy. "You must
go at once and make arrangements
with the evil powers to assist
us, and meantime I'll begin to
dig the tunnel."
"I thought you'd agree with
me, Roquat," replied the new
General. "I'll start this very
afternoon to visit the Chief
of the Whimsies."
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