DIRECTLY as I closed the door,
I saw laid on the table two letters;
my thought was, that they were
notes of invitation from the
friends of some of my pupils;
I had received such marks of
attention occasionally, and with
me, who had no friends, correspondence
of more interest was out of the
question; the postman's arrival
had never yet been an event of
interest to me since I came to
Brussels. I laid my hand carelessly
on the documents, and coldly
and slowly glancing at them,
I prepared to break the seals;
my eye was arrested and my hand
too; I saw what excited me, as
if I had found a vivid picture
where I expected only to discover
a blank page: on one cover was
an English postmark; on the other,
a lady's clear, fine autograph;
the last
I opened first:--
"MONSIEUR, "I
FOUND out what you had done
the very morning
after your visit to me; you might
be sure I should dust the china,
every day; and, as no one but
you had been in my room for a
week, and as fairy-money is not
current in Brussels, I could
not doubt who left the twenty
francs on the chimney-piece.
I thought I heard you stir the
vase when I was stooping to look
for your glove under the table,
and I wondered you should imagine
it had got into such a little
cup. Now, monsieur, the money
is not mine, and I shall not
keep it; I will not send it in
this note because it might be
lost--besides, it is heavy; but
I will restore it to you the
first time I see you, and you
must make no difficulties about
taking it; because, in the first
place, I am sure, monsieur, you
can understand that one likes
to pay one's debts; that it is
satisfactory to owe no man anything;
and, in the second place, I can
now very well afford to be honest,
as I am provided with a situation.
This last circumstance is, indeed,
the reason of my writing to you,
for it is pleasant to communicate
good news; and, in these days,
I have only my master to whom
I can tell anything.
"A week ago,
monsieur, I was sent for by
a Mrs. Wharton, an
English lady; her eldest daughter
was going to be married, and
some rich relation having made
her a present of a veil and dress
in costly old lace, as precious,
they said, almost as jewels,
but a little damaged by time,
I was commissioned to put them
in repair. I had to do it at
the house; they gave me, besides,
some embroidery to complete,
and nearly a week elapsed before
I had finished everything. While
I worked, Miss Wharton often
came into the room and sat with
me, and so did Mrs. Wharton;
they made me talk English; asked
how I had learned to speak it
so well; then they inquired what
I knew besides--what books I
had read; soon they seemed to
make a sort of wonder of me,
considering me no doubt as a
learned grisette. One afternoon,
Mrs. Wharton brought in a Parisian
lady to test the accuracy of
my knowledge of French; the result
of it: was that, owing probably
in a great degree to the mother's
and daughter's good humour about
the marriage, which inclined
them to do beneficent deeds,
and partly, I think, because
they are naturally benevolent
people, they decided that the
wish I had expressed to do something
more than mend lace was a very
legitimate one; and the same
day they took me in their carriage
to Mrs. D.'s, who is the directress
of the first English school at
Brussels. It seems she happened
to be in want of a French lady
to give lessons in geography,
history, grammar, and composition,
in the French language. Mrs.
Wharton recommended me very warmly;
and, as two of her younger daughters
are pupils in the house, her
patronage availed to get me the
place. It was settled that I
am to attend six hours daily
(for, happily, it was not required
that I should live in the house;
I should have been sorry to leave
my lodgings), and, for this,
Mrs. D. will give me twelve hundred
francs per annum.
"You see, therefore,
monsieur, that I am now rich;
richer almost
than I ever hoped to be: I feel
thankful for it, especially as
my sight was beginning to be
injured by constant working at
fine lace; and I was getting,
too, very weary of sitting up
late at nights, and yet not being
able to find time for reading
or study. I began to fear that
I should fall ill, and be unable
to pay my way; this fear is now,
in a great measure, removed;
and, in truth, monsieur, I am
very grateful to God for the
relief; and I feel it necessary,
almost, to speak of my happiness
to some one who is kind-hearted
enough to derive joy from seeing
others joyful. I could not, therefore,
resist the temptation of writing
to you; I argued with myself
it is very pleasant for me to
write, and it will not be exactly
painful, though it may be tiresome
to monsieur to read. Do not be
too angry with my circumlocution
and inelegancies of expression,
and, believe me
"Your attached pupil, "F.
E. HENRI."
Having read
this letter, I mused on its
contents for a few
moments--whether with sentiments
pleasurable or otherwise I will
hereafter note--and then took
up the other. It was directed
in a hand to me unknown--small,
and rather neat; neither masculine
nor exactly feminine; the seal
bore a coat of arms, concerning
which I could only decipher that
it was not that of the Seacombe
family, consequently the epistle
could be from none of my almost
forgotten, and certainly quite
forgetting patrician relations. >From
whom, then, was it? I removed
the envelope; the note folded
within ran as follows :-
"I have no
doubt in the world that you
are doing well in that
greasy Flanders; living probably
on the fat of the unctuous land;
sitting like a black-haired,
tawny-skinned, long-nosed Israelite
by the flesh-pots of Egypt; or
like a rascally son of Levi near
the brass cauldrons of the sanctuary,
and every now and then plunging
in a consecrated hook, and drawing
out of the sea, of broth the
fattest of heave-shoulders and
the fleshiest of wave-breasts.
I know this, because you never
write to any one in England.
Thankless dog that you are! I,
by the sovereign efficacy of
my recommendation, got you the
place where you are now living
in clover, and yet not a word
of gratitude, or even acknowledgment,
have you ever offered in return;
but I am coming to see you, and
small conception can you, with
your addled aristocratic brains,
form of the sort of moral kicking
I have, ready packed in my carpet-bag,
destined to be presented to you
immediately on my arrival.
"Meantime I know all about
your affairs, and have just got
information, by Brown's last
letter, that you are said to
be on the point of forming an
advantageous match with a pursy,
little Belgian schoolmistress--a
Mdlle. Zenobie, or some such
name. Won't I have a look at
her when I come over! And this
you may rely on: if she pleases
my taste, or if I think it worth
while in a pecuniary point of
view, I'll pounce on your prize
and bear her away triumphant
in spite of your teeth. Yet I
don't like dumpies either, and
Brown says she is little and
stout--the better fitted for
a wiry, starved-looking chap
like you. "Be on the look-out,
for you know neither the day
nor hour when your ---- (I don't
wish to blaspheme, so I'll leave
a blank) --cometh.
"Yours truly, "HUNSDEN
YORKE HUNSDEN."
"Humph!" said I; and ere I
laid the letter down, I again
glanced at the small, neat handwriting,
not a bit like that of a mercantile
man, nor, indeed, of any man
except Hunsden himself. They
talk of affinities between the
autograph and the character:
what affinity was there here?
I recalled the writer's peculiar
face and certain traits I suspected,
rather than knew, to appertain
to his nature, and I answered, "A
great deal."
Hunsden, then, was coming to
Brussels, and coming I knew not
when; coming charged with the
expectation of finding me on
the summit of prosperity, about
to be married, to step into a
warm nest, to lie comfortably
down by the side of a snug, well-fed
little mate.
"I wish him joy of the fidelity
of the picture he has painted," thought
I. "What will he say when, instead
of a pair of plump turtle doves,
billing and cooing in a bower
of roses, he finds a single lean
cormorant, standing mateless
and shelterless on poverty's
bleak cliff? Oh, confound him!
Let him come, and let him laugh
at the contrast between rumour
and fact. Were he the devil himself,
instead of being merely very
like him, I'd not condescend
to get out of his way, or to
forge a smile or a cheerful word
wherewith to avert his sarcasm."
Then I recurred to the other
letter: that struck a chord whose
sound I could not deaden by thrusting
my fingers into my ears, for
it vibrated within; and though
its swell might be exquisite
music, its cadence was a groan.
That Frances was relieved from
the pressure of want, that the
curse of excessive labour was
taken off her, filled me with
happiness; that her first thought
in prosperity should be to augment
her joy by sharing it with me,
met and satisfied the wish of
my heart. Two results of her
letter were then pleasant, sweet
as two draughts of nectar; but
applying my lips for the third
time to the cup, and they were
excoriated as with vinegar and
gall.
Two persons whose desires are
moderate may live well enough
in Brussels on an income which
would scarcely afford a respectable
maintenance for one in London:
and that, not because the necessaries
of life are so much dearer in
the latter capital, or taxes
so much higher than in the former,
but because the English surpass
in folly all the nations on God's
earth, and are more abject slaves
to custom, to opinion, to the
desire to keep up a certain appearance,
than the Italians are to priestcraft,
the French to vain-glory, the
Russians to their Czar, or the
Germans to black beer. I have
seen a degree of sense in the
modest arrangement of one homely
Belgian household, that might
put to shame the elegance, the
superfluities, the luxuries,
the strained refinements of a
hundred genteel English mansions.
In Belgium, provided you can
make money, you may save it;
this is scarcely possible in
England; ostentation there lavishes
in a month what industry has
earned in a year. More shame
to all classes in that most bountiful
and beggarly country for their
servile following of Fashion;
I could write a chapter or two
on this subject, but must forbear,
at least for the present. Had
I retained my 60l. per annum
I could, now that Frances was
in possession of 50l., have gone
straight to her this very evening,
and spoken out the words which,
repressed, kept fretting my heart
with fever; our united income
would, as we should have managed
it, have sufficed well for our
mutual support; since we lived
in a country where economy was
not confounded with meanness,
where frugality in dress, food,
and furniture, was not synonymous
with vulgarity in these various
points. But the placeless usher,
bare of resource, and unsupported
by connections, must not think
of this; such a sentiment as
love, such a word as marriage,
were misplaced in his heart,
and on his lips. Now for the
first time did I truly feel what
it was to be poor; now did the
sacrifice I had made in casting
from me the means of living put
on a new aspect; instead of a
correct, just, honourable act,
it seemed a deed at once light
and fanatical; I took several
turns in my room, under the goading
influence of most poignant remorse;
I walked a quarter of an hour
from the wall to the window;
and at the window, self-reproach
seemed to face me; at the wall,
self-disdain: all at once out
spoke Conscience:--
"Down, stupid tormenters!" cried
she; "the man has done his duty;
you shall not bait him thus by
thoughts of what might have been;
he relinquished a temporary and
contingent good to avoid a permanent
and certain evil he did well.
Let him reflect now, and when
your blinding dust and deafening
hum subside, he will discover
a path."
I sat down; I propped my forehead
on both my hands; I thought and
thought an hour-two hours; vainly.
I seemed like one sealed in a
subterranean vault, who gazes
at utter blackness; at blackness
ensured by yard-thick stone walls
around, and by piles of building
above, expecting light to penetrate
through granite, and through
cement firm as granite. But there
are chinks, or there may be chinks,
in the best adjusted masonry;
there was a chink in my cavernous
cell; for, eventually, I saw,
or seemed to see, a ray--pallid,
indeed, and cold, and doubtful,
but still a ray, for it showed
that narrow path which conscience
had promised after two, three
hours' torturing research in
brain and memory, I disinterred
certain remains of circumstances,
and conceived a hope that by
putting them together an expedient
might be framed, and a resource
discovered. The circumstances
were briefly these :--
Some three
months ago M. Pelet had, on
the occasion of his fete,
given the boys a treat, which
treat consisted in a party of
pleasure to a certain place of
public resort in the outskirts
of Brussels, of which I do not
at this moment remember the name,
but near it were several of those
lakelets called etangs; and there
was one etang, larger than the
rest, where on holidays people
were accustomed to amuse themselves
by rowing round it in little
boats. The boys having eaten
an unlimited quantity of "gaufres," and
drank several bottles of Louvain
beer, amid the shades of a garden
made and provided for such crams,
petitioned the director for leave
to take a row on the etang. Half
a dozen of the eldest succeeded
in obtaining leave, and I was
commissioned to accompany them
as surveillant. Among the half
dozen happened to be a certain
Jean Baptiste Vandenhuten, a
most ponderous young Flamand,
not tall, but even now, at the
early age of sixteen, possessing
a breadth and depth of personal
development truly national. It
chanced that Jean was the first
lad to step into the boat; he
stumbled, rolled to one side,
the boat revolted at his weight
and capsized. Vandenhuten sank
like lead, rose, sank again.
My coat and waistcoat were off
in an instant; I had not been
brought up at Eton and boated
and bathed and swam there ten
long years for nothing; it was
a natural and easy act for me
to leap to the rescue. The lads
and the boatmen yelled; they
thought there would be two deaths
by drowning instead of one; but
as Jean rose the third time,
I clutched him by one leg and
the collar, and in three minutes
more both he and I were safe
landed. To speak heaven's truth,
my merit in the action was small
indeed, for I had run no risk,
and subsequently did not even
catch cold from the wetting;
but when M. and Madame Vandenhuten,
of whom Jean Baptiste was the
sole hope, came to hear of the
exploit, they seemed to think
I had evinced a bravery and devotion
which no thanks could sufficiently
repay. Madame, in particular,
was "certain I must have dearly
loved their sweet son, or I would
not thus have hazarded my own
life to save his." Monsieur,
an honest-looking, though phlegmatic
man, said very little, but he
would not suffer me to leave
the room, till I had promised
that in case I ever stood in
need of help I would, by applying
to him, give him a chance of
discharging the obligation under
which he affirmed I had laid
him. These words, then, were
my glimmer of light; it was here
I found my sole outlet; and in
truth, though the cold light
roused, it did not cheer me;
nor did the outlet seem such
as I should like to pass through.
Right I had none to M. Vandenhuten's
good offices; it was not on the
ground of merit I could apply
to him; no, I must stand on that
of necessity: I had no work;
I wanted work; my best chance
of obtaining it lay in securing
his recommendation. This I knew
could be had by asking for it;
not to ask, because the request
revolted my pride and contradicted
my habits, would, I felt, be
an indulgence of false and indolent
fastidiousness. I might repent
the omission all my life; I would
not then be guilty of it.
That evening I went to M. Vandenhuten's;
but I had bent the bow and adjusted
the shaft in vain; the string
broke. I rang the bell at the
great door (it was a large, handsome
house in an expensive part of
the town); a manservant opened;
I asked for M. Vandenhuten; M.
Vandenhuten and family were all
out of town --gone to Ostend--did
not know when they would be back.
I left my card, and retraced
my steps.
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