The Caterpillar and Alice looked
at each other for some time in
silence: at last the Caterpillar
took the hookah out of its mouth,
and addressed her in a languid,
sleepy voice.
`Who are YOU?' said the Caterpillar.
This was not an encouraging
opening for a conversation. Alice
replied, rather shyly, `I--I
hardly know, sir, just at present--
at least I know who I WAS when
I got up this morning, but I
think I must have been changed
several times since then.'
`What do you mean by that?'
said the Caterpillar sternly.
`Explain yourself!'
`I can't explain MYSELF, I'm
afraid, sir' said Alice, `because
I'm not myself, you see.'
`I don't see,' said the Caterpillar.
`I'm afraid I can't put it
more clearly,' Alice replied
very politely, `for I can't understand
it myself to begin with; and
being so many different sizes
in a day is very confusing.'
`It isn't,' said the Caterpillar.
`Well, perhaps you haven't
found it so yet,' said Alice;
`but when you have to turn into
a chrysalis--you will some day,
you know--and then after that
into a butterfly, I should think
you'll feel it a little queer,
won't you?'
`Not a bit,' said the Caterpillar.
`Well, perhaps your feelings
may be different,' said Alice;
`all I know is, it would feel
very queer to ME.'
`You!' said the Caterpillar
contemptuously. `Who are YOU?'
Which brought them back again
to the beginning of the conversation.
Alice felt a little irritated
at the Caterpillar's making such
VERY short remarks, and she drew
herself up and said, very gravely,
`I think, you ought to tell me
who YOU are, first.'
`Why?' said the Caterpillar.
Here was another puzzling question;
and as Alice could not think
of any good reason, and as the
Caterpillar seemed to be in a
VERY unpleasant state of mind,
she turned away.
`Come back!' the Caterpillar
called after her. `I've something
important to say!'
This sounded promising, certainly:
Alice turned and came back again.
`Keep your temper,' said the
Caterpillar.
`Is that all?' said Alice,
swallowing down her anger as
well as she could.
`No,' said the Caterpillar.
Alice thought she might as
well wait, as she had nothing
else to do, and perhaps after
all it might tell her something
worth hearing. For some minutes
it puffed away without speaking,
but at last it unfolded its arms,
took the hookah out of its mouth
again, and said, `So you think
you're changed, do you?'
`I'm afraid I am, sir,' said
Alice; `I can't remember things
as I used--and I don't keep the
same size for ten minutes together!'
`Can't remember WHAT things?'
said the Caterpillar.
`Well, I've
tried to say "HOW
DOTH THE LITTLE BUSY BEE," but
it all came different!' Alice
replied in a very melancholy
voice.
`Repeat, "YOU ARE OLD, FATHER
WILLIAM,"' said the Caterpillar.
Alice folded her hands, and
began:--
`You are old, Father William,'
the young man said, `And your
hair has become very white; And
yet you incessantly stand on
your head-- Do you think, at
your age, it is right?'
`In my youth,' Father William
replied to his son, `I feared
it might injure the brain; But,
now that I'm perfectly sure I
have none, Why, I do it again
and again.'
`You are old,' said the youth,
`as I mentioned before, And have
grown most uncommonly fat; Yet
you turned a back-somersault
in at the door-- Pray, what is
the reason of that?'
`In my youth,' said the sage,
as he shook his grey locks, `I
kept all my limbs very supple
By the use of this ointment--one
shilling the box-- Allow me to
sell you a couple?'
`You are old,' said the youth,
`and your jaws are too weak For
anything tougher than suet; Yet
you finished the goose, with
the bones and the beak-- Pray
how did you manage to do it?'
`In my youth,' said his father,
`I took to the law, And argued
each case with my wife; And the
muscular strength, which it gave
to my jaw, Has lasted the rest
of my life.'
`You are old,' said the youth,
`one would hardly suppose That
your eye was as steady as ever;
Yet you balanced an eel on the
end of your nose-- What made
you so awfully clever?'
`I have answered three questions,
and that is enough,' Said his
father; `don't give yourself
airs! Do you think I can listen
all day to such stuff? Be off,
or I'll kick you down stairs!'
`That is not said right,' said
the Caterpillar.
`Not QUITE right, I'm afraid,'
said Alice, timidly; `some of
the words have got altered.'
`It is wrong from beginning
to end,' said the Caterpillar
decidedly, and there was silence
for some minutes.
The Caterpillar was the first
to speak.
`What size do you want to be?'
it asked.
`Oh, I'm not particular as
to size,' Alice hastily replied;
`only one doesn't like changing
so often, you know.'
`I DON'T know,' said the Caterpillar.
Alice said nothing: she had
never been so much contradicted
in her life before, and she felt
that she was losing her temper.
`Are you content now?' said
the Caterpillar.
`Well, I should like to be
a LITTLE larger, sir, if you
wouldn't mind,' said Alice: `three
inches is such a wretched height
to be.'
`It is a very good height indeed!'
said the Caterpillar angrily,
rearing itself upright as it
spoke (it was exactly three inches
high).
`But I'm not used to it!' pleaded
poor Alice in a piteous tone.
And she thought of herself, `I
wish the creatures wouldn't be
so easily offended!'
`You'll get used to it in time,'
said the Caterpillar; and it
put the hookah into its mouth
and began smoking again.
This time Alice waited patiently
until it chose to speak again.
In a minute or two the Caterpillar
took the hookah out of its mouth
and yawned once or twice, and
shook itself. Then it got down
off the mushroom, and crawled
away in the grass, merely remarking
as it went, `One side will make
you grow taller, and the other
side will make you grow shorter.'
`One side of WHAT? The other
side of WHAT?' thought Alice
to herself.
`Of the mushroom,' said the
Caterpillar, just as if she had
asked it aloud; and in another
moment it was out of sight.
Alice remained looking thoughtfully
at the mushroom for a minute,
trying to make out which were
the two sides of it; and as it
was perfectly round, she found
this a very difficult question.
However, at last she stretched
her arms round it as far as they
would go, and broke off a bit
of the edge with each hand.
`And now which is which?' she
said to herself, and nibbled
a little of the right-hand bit
to try the effect: the next moment
she felt a violent blow underneath
her chin: it had struck her foot!
She was a good deal frightened
by this very sudden change, but
she felt that there was no time
to be lost, as she was shrinking
rapidly; so she set to work at
once to eat some of the other
bit. Her chin was pressed so
closely against her foot, that
there was hardly room to open
her mouth; but she did it at
last, and managed to swallow
a morsel of the lefthand bit.
* * * * * * *
* * * * * *
* * * * * * *
`Come, my head's free at last!'
said Alice in a tone of delight,
which changed into alarm in another
moment, when she found that her
shoulders were nowhere to be
found: all she could see, when
she looked down, was an immense
length of neck, which seemed
to rise like a stalk out of a
sea of green leaves that lay
far below her.
`What CAN all that green stuff
be?' said Alice. `And where HAVE
my shoulders got to? And oh,
my poor hands, how is it I can't
see you?' She was moving them
about as she spoke, but no result
seemed to follow, except a little
shaking among the distant green
leaves.
As there seemed to be no chance
of getting her hands up to her
head, she tried to get her head
down to them, and was delighted
to find that her neck would bend
about easily in any direction,
like a serpent. She had just
succeeded in curving it down
into a graceful zigzag, and was
going to dive in among the leaves,
which she found to be nothing
but the tops of the trees under
which she had been wandering,
when a sharp hiss made her draw
back in a hurry: a large pigeon
had flown into her face, and
was beating her violently with
its wings.
`Serpent!' screamed the Pigeon.
`I'm NOT a serpent!' said Alice
indignantly. `Let me alone!'
`Serpent, I say again!' repeated
the Pigeon, but in a more subdued
tone, and added with a kind of
sob, `I've tried every way, and
nothing seems to suit them!'
`I haven't the least idea what
you're talking about,' said Alice.
`I've tried the roots of trees,
and I've tried banks, and I've
tried hedges,' the Pigeon went
on, without attending to her;
`but those serpents! There's
no pleasing them!'
Alice was more and more puzzled,
but she thought there was no
use in saying anything more till
the Pigeon had finished.
`As if it wasn't trouble enough
hatching the eggs,' said the
Pigeon; `but I must be on the
look-out for serpents night and
day! Why, I haven't had a wink
of sleep these three weeks!'
`I'm very sorry you've been
annoyed,' said Alice, who was
beginning to see its meaning.
`And just as I'd taken the
highest tree in the wood,' continued
the Pigeon, raising its voice
to a shriek, `and just as I was
thinking I should be free of
them at last, they must needs
come wriggling down from the
sky! Ugh, Serpent!'
`But I'm NOT a serpent, I tell
you!' said Alice. `I'm a--I'm
a--'
`Well! WHAT are you?' said
the Pigeon. `I can see you're
trying to invent something!'
`I--I'm a little girl,' said
Alice, rather doubtfully, as
she remembered the number of
changes she had gone through
that day.
`A likely story indeed!' said
the Pigeon in a tone of the deepest
contempt. `I've seen a good many
little girls in my time, but
never ONE with such a neck as
that! No, no! You're a serpent;
and there's no use denying it.
I suppose you'll be telling me
next that you never tasted an
egg!'
`I HAVE tasted eggs, certainly,'
said Alice, who was a very truthful
child; `but little girls eat
eggs quite as much as serpents
do, you know.'
`I don't believe it,' said
the Pigeon; `but if they do,
why then they're a kind of serpent,
that's all I can say.'
This was such a new idea to
Alice, that she was quite silent
for a minute or two, which gave
the Pigeon the opportunity of
adding, `You're looking for eggs,
I know THAT well enough; and
what does it matter to me whether
you're a little girl or a serpent?'
`It matters a good deal to
ME,' said Alice hastily; `but
I'm not looking for eggs, as
it happens; and if I was, I shouldn't
want YOURS: I don't like them
raw.'
`Well, be off, then!' said
the Pigeon in a sulky tone, as
it settled down again into its
nest. Alice crouched down among
the trees as well as she could,
for her neck kept getting entangled
among the branches, and every
now and then she had to stop
and untwist it. After a while
she remembered that she still
held the pieces of mushroom in
her hands, and she set to work
very carefully, nibbling first
at one and then at the other,
and growing sometimes taller
and sometimes shorter, until
she had succeeded in bringing
herself down to her usual height.
It was so long since she had
been anything near the right
size, that it felt quite strange
at first; but she got used to
it in a few minutes, and began
talking to herself, as usual.
`Come, there's half my plan done
now! How puzzling all these changes
are! I'm never sure what I'm
going to be, from one minute
to another! However, I've got
back to my right size: the next
thing is, to get into that beautiful
garden--how IS that to be done,
I wonder?' As she said this,
she came suddenly upon an open
place, with a little house in
it about four feet high. `Whoever
lives there,' thought Alice,
`it'll never do to come upon
them THIS size: why, I should
frighten them out of their wits!'
So she began nibbling at the
righthand bit again, and did
not venture to go near the house
till she had brought herself
down to nine inches high.
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