The Mock Turtle sighed deeply,
and drew the back of one flapper
across his eyes. He looked at
Alice, and tried to speak, but
for a minute or two sobs choked
his voice. `Same as if he had
a bone in his throat,' said the
Gryphon: and it set to work shaking
him and punching him in the back.
At last the Mock Turtle recovered
his voice, and, with tears running
down his cheeks, he went on
again:--
`You may not have lived much
under the sea--' (`I haven't,'
said Alice)--`and perhaps you
were never even introduced to
a lobster--' (Alice began to
say `I once tasted--' but checked
herself hastily, and said `No,
never') `--so you can have no
idea what a delightful thing
a Lobster Quadrille is!'
`No, indeed,' said Alice. `What
sort of a dance is it?'
`Why,' said the Gryphon, `you
first form into a line along
the sea-shore--'
`Two lines!' cried the Mock
Turtle. `Seals, turtles, salmon,
and so on; then, when you've
cleared all the jelly-fish out
of the way--'
`THAT generally takes some
time,' interrupted the Gryphon.
`--you advance twice--'
`Each with a lobster as a partner!'
cried the Gryphon.
`Of course,' the Mock Turtle
said: `advance twice, set to
partners--'
`--change lobsters, and retire
in same order,' continued the
Gryphon.
`Then, you know,' the Mock
Turtle went on, `you throw the--'
`The lobsters!' shouted the
Gryphon, with a bound into the
air.
`--as far out to sea as you
can--'
`Swim after them!' screamed
the Gryphon.
`Turn a somersault in the sea!'
cried the Mock Turtle, capering
wildly about.
`Back to land again, and that's
all the first figure,' said the
Mock Turtle, suddenly dropping
his voice; and the two creatures,
who had been jumping about like
mad things all this time, sat
down again very sadly and quietly,
and looked at Alice.
`It must be a very pretty dance,'
said Alice timidly.
`Would you like to see a little
of it?' said the Mock Turtle.
`Very much indeed,' said Alice.
`Come, let's try the first
figure!' said the Mock Turtle
to the Gryphon. `We can do without
lobsters, you know. Which shall
sing?'
`Oh, YOU sing,' said the Gryphon.
`I've forgotten the words.'
So they began solemnly dancing
round and round Alice, every
now and then treading on her
toes when they passed too close,
and waving their forepaws to
mark the time, while the Mock
Turtle sang this, very slowly
and sadly:--
`"Will you walk a little faster?" said
a whiting to a snail. "There's
a porpoise close behind us, and
he's treading on my tail. See
how eagerly the lobsters and
the turtles all advance! They
are waiting on the shingle--will
you come and join the dance?
Will you, won't you, will you,
won't you, will you join the
dance? Will you, won't you, will
you, won't you, won't you join
the dance?
"You can really have no notion
how delightful it will be When
they take us up and throw us,
with the lobsters, out to sea!" But
the snail replied "Too far, too
far!" and gave a look askance--
Said he thanked the whiting kindly,
but he would not join the dance.
Would not, could not, would not,
could not, would not join the
dance. Would not, could not,
would not, could not, could not
join the dance.
`"What matters it how far we
go?" his scaly friend replied. "There
is another shore, you know, upon
the other side. The further off
from England the nearer is to
France-- Then turn not pale,
beloved snail, but come and join
the dance.
Will you, won't
you, will you, won't you, will
you join the
dance? Will you, won't you, will
you, won't you, won't you join
the dance?"'
`Thank you, it's a very interesting
dance to watch,' said Alice,
feeling very glad that it was
over at last: `and I do so like
that curious song about the whiting!'
`Oh, as to the whiting,' said
the Mock Turtle, `they--you've
seen them, of course?'
`Yes,' said Alice, `I've often
seen them at dinn--' she checked
herself hastily.
`I don't know where Dinn may
be,' said the Mock Turtle, `but
if you've seen them so often,
of course you know what they're
like.'
`I believe so,' Alice replied
thoughtfully. `They have their
tails in their mouths--and they're
all over crumbs.'
`You're wrong about the crumbs,'
said the Mock Turtle: `crumbs
would all wash off in the sea.
But they HAVE their tails in
their mouths; and the reason
is--' here the Mock Turtle yawned
and shut his eyes.--`Tell her
about the reason and all that,'
he said to the Gryphon.
`The reason is,' said the Gryphon,
`that they WOULD go with the
lobsters to the dance. So they
got thrown out to sea. So they
had to fall a long way. So they
got their tails fast in their
mouths. So they couldn't get
them out again. That's all.'
`Thank you,' said Alice, `it's
very interesting. I never knew
so much about a whiting before.'
`I can tell you more than that,
if you like,' said the Gryphon.
`Do you know why it's called
a whiting?'
`I never thought about it,'
said Alice. `Why?'
`IT DOES THE BOOTS AND SHOES.'
the Gryphon replied very solemnly.
Alice was thoroughly puzzled.
`Does the boots and shoes!' she
repeated in a wondering tone.
`Why, what are YOUR shoes done
with?' said the Gryphon. `I mean,
what makes them so shiny?'
Alice looked down at them,
and considered a little before
she gave her answer. `They're
done with blacking, I believe.'
`Boots and shoes under the
sea,' the Gryphon went on in
a deep voice, `are done with
a whiting. Now you know.'
`And what are they made of?'
Alice asked in a tone of great
curiosity.
`Soles and eels, of course,'
the Gryphon replied rather impatiently:
`any shrimp could have told you
that.'
`If I'd been
the whiting,' said Alice, whose
thoughts were
still running on the song, `I'd
have said to the porpoise, "Keep
back, please: we don't want YOU
with us!"'
`They were obliged to have
him with them,' the Mock Turtle
said: `no wise fish would go
anywhere without a porpoise.'
`Wouldn't it really?' said
Alice in a tone of great surprise.
`Of course
not,' said the Mock Turtle:
`why, if a fish came
to ME, and told me he was going
a journey, I should say "With
what porpoise?"'
`Don't you
mean "purpose"?'
said Alice.
`I mean what I say,' the Mock
Turtle replied in an offended
tone. And the Gryphon added `Come,
let's hear some of YOUR adventures.'
`I could tell you my adventures--beginning
from this morning,' said Alice
a little timidly: `but it's no
use going back to yesterday,
because I was a different person
then.'
`Explain all that,' said the
Mock Turtle.
`No, no! The adventures first,'
said the Gryphon in an impatient
tone: `explanations take such
a dreadful time.'
So Alice began telling them
her adventures from the time
when she first saw the White
Rabbit. She was a little nervous
about it just at first, the two
creatures got so close to her,
one on each side, and opened
their eyes and mouths so VERY
wide, but she gained courage
as she went on. Her listeners
were perfectly quiet till she
got to the part about her repeating
`YOU ARE OLD, FATHER WILLIAM,'
to the Caterpillar, and the words
all coming different, and then
the Mock Turtle drew a long breath,
and said `That's very curious.'
`It's all about as curious
as it can be,' said the Gryphon.
`It all came different!' the
Mock Turtle repeated thoughtfully.
`I should like to hear her try
and repeat something now. Tell
her to begin.' He looked at the
Gryphon as if he thought it had
some kind of authority over Alice.
`Stand up and
repeat "'TIS
THE VOICE OF THE SLUGGARD,"'
said the Gryphon.
`How the creatures order one
about, and make one repeat lessons!'
thought Alice; `I might as well
be at school at once.' However,
she got up, and began to repeat
it, but her head was so full
of the Lobster Quadrille, that
she hardly knew what she was
saying, and the words came very
queer indeed:--
`'Tis the voice
of the Lobster; I heard him
declare, "You have
baked me too brown, I must sugar
my hair." As a duck with its
eyelids, so he with his nose
Trims his belt and his buttons,
and turns out his toes.'
[later editions continued as
follows When the sands are all
dry, he is gay as a lark, And
will talk in contemptuous tones
of the Shark, But, when the tide
rises and sharks are around,
His voice has a timid and tremulous
sound.]
`That's different from what
I used to say when I was a child,'
said the Gryphon.
`Well, I never heard it before,'
said the Mock Turtle; `but it
sounds uncommon nonsense.'
Alice said nothing; she had
sat down with her face in her
hands, wondering if anything
would EVER happen in a natural
way again.
`I should like to have it explained,'
said the Mock Turtle.
`She can't explain it,' said
the Gryphon hastily. `Go on with
the next verse.'
`But about his toes?' the Mock
Turtle persisted. `How COULD
he turn them out with his nose,
you know?'
`It's the first position in
dancing.' Alice said; but was
dreadfully puzzled by the whole
thing, and longed to change the
subject.
`Go on with
the next verse,' the Gryphon
repeated impatiently:
`it begins "I passed by his garden."'
Alice did not dare to disobey,
though she felt sure it would
all come wrong, and she went
on in a trembling voice:--
`I passed by his garden, and
marked, with one eye, How the
Owl and the Panther were sharing
a pie--'
[later editions continued as
follows The Panther took pie-crust,
and gravy, and meat, While the
Owl had the dish as its share
of the treat. When the pie was
all finished, the Owl, as a boon,
Was kindly permitted to pocket
the spoon: While the Panther
received knife and fork with
a growl, And concluded the banquet--]
`What IS the use of repeating
all that stuff,' the Mock Turtle
interrupted, `if you don't explain
it as you go on? It's by far
the most confusing thing I ever
heard!'
`Yes, I think you'd better
leave off,' said the Gryphon:
and Alice was only too glad to
do so.
`Shall we try another figure
of the Lobster Quadrille?' the
Gryphon went on. `Or would you
like the Mock Turtle to sing
you a song?'
`Oh, a song,
please, if the Mock Turtle
would be so kind,'
Alice replied, so eagerly that
the Gryphon said, in a rather
offended tone, `Hm! No accounting
for tastes! Sing her "Turtle
Soup," will you, old fellow?'
The Mock Turtle sighed deeply,
and began, in a voice sometimes
choked with sobs, to sing this:--
`Beautiful Soup, so rich and
green, Waiting in a hot tureen!
Who for such dainties would not
stoop? Soup of the evening, beautiful
Soup! Soup of the evening, beautiful
Soup! Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!
Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! Soo--oop
of the e--e--evening, Beautiful,
beautiful Soup!
`Beautiful Soup! Who cares
for fish, Game, or any other
dish? Who would not give all
else for two p ennyworth only
of beautiful Soup? Pennyworth
only of beautiful Soup? Beau--ootiful
Soo--oop! Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!
Soo--oop of the e--e--evening,
Beautiful, beauti--FUL SOUP!'
`Chorus again!' cried the Gryphon,
and the Mock Turtle had just
begun to repeat it, when a cry
of `The trial's beginning!' was
heard in the distance.
`Come on!' cried the Gryphon,
and, taking Alice by the hand,
it hurried off, without waiting
for the end of the song.
`What trial is it?' Alice panted
as she ran; but the Gryphon only
answered `Come on!' and ran the
faster, while more and more faintly
came, carried on the breeze that
followed them, the melancholy
words:--
`Soo--oop of the e--e--evening,
Beautiful, beautiful Soup!'
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