"It is with
considerable difficulty that
I remember the original
era of my being: all the events
of that period appear confused
and indistinct. A strange multiplicity
of sensations seized me, and
I saw, felt, heard, and smelt,
at the same time; and it was,
indeed, a long time before I
learned to distinguish between
the operations of my various
senses. By degrees, I remember,
a stronger light pressed upon
my nerves, so that I was obliged
to shut my eyes. Darkness then
came over me, and troubled me;
but hardly had I felt this, when,
by opening my eyes, as I now
suppose, the light poured in
upon me again. I walked, and,
I believe, descended; but I presently
found a great alteration in my
sensations. Before, dark and
opaque bodies had surrounded
me, impervious to my touch or
sight; but I now found that I
could wander on at liberty, with
no obstacles which I could not
either surmount or avoid. The
light became more and more oppressive
to me; and, the heat wearying
me as I walked, I sought a place
where I could receive shade.
This was the forest near Ingolstadt;
and here I lay by the side of
a brook resting from my fatigue,
until I felt tormented by hunger
and thirst. This roused me from
my nearly dormant state, and
I ate some berries which I found
hanging on the trees, or lying
on the ground. I slaked my thirst
at the brook; and then lying
down, was overcome by sleep.
"It was dark
when I awoke; I felt cold also,
and half-frightened,
as it were instinctively, finding
myself so desolate. Before I
had quitted your apartment, on
a sensation of cold, I had covered
myself with some clothes; but
these were insufficient to secure
me from the dews of night. I
was a poor, helpless, miserable
wretch; I knew, and could distinguish,
nothing; but feeling pain invade
me on all sides, I sat down and
wept.
"Soon a gentle
light stole over the heavens,
and gave me
a sensation of pleasure. I started
up, and beheld a radiant form
rise from among the trees.[1]
I gazed with a kind of wonder.
It moved slowly, but it enlightened
my path; and I again went out
in search of berries. I was still
cold, when under one of the trees
I found a huge cloak, with which
I covered myself, and sat down
upon the ground. No distinct
ideas occupied my mind; all was
confused. I felt light, and hunger,
and thirst, and darkness; innumerable
sounds rung in my ears, and on
all sides various scents saluted
me: the only object that I could
distinguish was the bright moon,
and I fixed my eyes on that with
pleasure.
[1] The moon.
"Several changes
of day and night passed, and
the orb of
night had greatly lessened, when
I began to distinguish my sensations
from each other. I gradually
saw plainly the clear stream
that supplied me with drink,
and the trees that shaded me
with their foliage. I was delighted
when I first discovered that
a pleasant sound, which often
saluted my ears, proceeded from
the throats of the little winged
animals who had often intercepted
the light from my eyes. I began
also to observe, with greater
accuracy, the forms that surrrounded
me, and to perceive the boundaries
of the radiant roof of light
which canopied me. Sometimes
I tried to imitate the pleasant
songs of the birds, but was unable.
Sometimes I wished to express
my sensations in my own mode,
but the uncouth and inarticulate
sounds which broke from me frightened
me into silence again.
"The moon had
disappeared from the night,
and again, with a
lessened form, showed itself,
while I still remained in the
forest. My sensations had, by
this time, become distinct, and
my mind received every day additional
ideas. My eyes became accustomed
to the light, and to perceive
objects in their right forms;
I distinguished the insect from
the herb, and, by degrees, one
herb from another. I found that
the sparrow uttered none but
harsh notes, whilst those of
the blackbird and thrush were
sweet and enticing.
"One day, when
I was oppressed by cold, I
found a fire which
had been left by some wandering
beggars, and was overcome with
delight at the warmth I experienced
from it. In my joy I thrust my
hand into the live embers, but
quickly drew it out again with
a cry of pain. How strange, I
thought, that the same cause
should produce such opposite
effects! I examined the materials
of the fire, and to my joy found
it to be composed of wood. I
quickly collected some branches;
but they were wet, and would
not burn. I was pained at this,
and sat still watching the operation
of the fire. The wet wood which
I had placed near the heat dried,
and itself became inflamed. I
reflected on this; and, by touching
the various branches, I discovered
the cause, and busied myself
in collecting a great quantity
of wood, that I might dry it,
and have a plentiful supply of
fire. When night came on, and
brought sleep with it, I was
in the greatest fear lest my
fire should be extinguished.
I covered it carefully with dry
wood and leaves, and placed wet
branches upon it; and then, spreading
my cloak, I lay on the ground,
and sunk into sleep.
"It was morning
when I awoke, and my first
care was to visit
the fire. I uncovered it, and
a gentle breeze quickly fanned
it into a flame. I observed this
also, and contrived a fan of
branches, which roused the embers
when they were nearly extinguished.
When night came again, I found,
with pleasure, that the fire
gave light as well as heat; and
that the discovery of this element
was useful to me in my food;
for I found some of the offals
that the travellers had left
had been roasted, and tasted
much more savoury than the berries
I gathered from the trees. I
tried, therefore, to dress my
food in the same manner, placing
it on the live embers. I found
that the berries were spoiled
by this operation, and the nuts
and roots much improved.
"Food, however,
became scarce; and I often
spent the whole day
searching in vain for a few acorns
to assuage the pangs of hunger.
When I found this, I resolved
to quit the place that I had
hitherto inhabited, to seek for
one where the few wants I experienced
would be more easily satisfied.
In this emigration, I exceedingly
lamented the loss of the fire
which I had obtained through
accident, and knew not how to
reproduce it. I gave several
hours to the serious consideration
of this difficulty; but I was
obliged to relinquish all attempt
to supply it; and, wrapping myself
up in my cloak, I struck across
the wood towards the setting
sun. I passed three days in these
rambles, and at length discovered
the open country. A great fall
of snow had taken place the night
before, and the fields were of
one uniform white; the appearance
was disconsolate, and I found
my feet chilled by the cold damp
substance that covered the ground.
"It was about
seven in the morning, and I
longed to obtain
food and shelter; at length I
perceived a small hut, on a rising
ground, which had doubtless been
built for the convenience of
some shepherd. This was a new
sight to me; and I examined the
structure with great curiosity.
Finding the door open, I entered.
An old man sat in it, near a
fire, over which he was preparing
his breakfast. He turned on hearing
a noise; and, perceiving me,
shrieked loudly, and, quitting
the hut, ran across the fields
with a speed of which his debilitated
form hardly appeared capable.
His appearance, different from
any I had ever before seen, and
his flight, somewhat surprised
me. But I was enchanted by the
appearance of the hut: here the
snow and rain could not penetrate;
the ground was dry; and it presented
to me then as exquisite and divine
a retreat as Pandaemonium appeared
to the daemons of hell after
their sufferings in the lake
of fire. I greedily devoured
the remnants of the shepherd's
breakfast, which consisted of
bread, cheese, milk, and wine;
the latter, however, I did not
like. Then, overcome by fatigue,
I lay down among some straw,
and fell asleep.
"It was noon
when I awoke; and, allured
by the warmth of
the sun, which shone brightly
on the white ground, I determined
to recommence my travels; and,
depositing the remains of the
peasant's breakfast in a wallet
I found, I proceeded across the
fields for several hours, until
at sunset I arrived at a village.
How miraculous did this appear!
the huts, the neater cottages,
and stately houses, engaged my
admiration by turns. The vegetables
in the gardens, the milk and
cheese that I saw placed at the
windows of some of the cottages,
allured my appetite. One of the
best of these I entered; but
I had hardly placed my foot within
the door, before the children
shrieked, and one of the women
fainted. The whole village was
mused; some fled, some attacked
me, until, grievously bruised
by stones and many other kinds
of missile weapons, I escaped
to the open country, and fearfully
took refuge in a low hovel, quite
bare, and making a wretched appearance
after the palaces I had beheld
in the village. This hovel, however,
joined a cottage of a neat and
pleasant appearance; but, after
my late dearly bought experience,
I dared not enter it. My place
of refuge was constructed of
wood, but so low that I could
with difficulty sit upright in
it. No wood, however, was placed
on the earth, which formed the
floor, but it was dry; and although
the wind entered it by innumerable
chinks, I found it an agreeable
asylum from the snow and rain.
"Here then
I retreated, and lay down happy
to have found
a shelter, however miserable,
from the inclemency of the season,
and still more from the barbarity
of man.
"As soon as
morning dawned, I crept from
my kennel, that
I might view the adjacent cottage,
and discover if I could remain
in the habitation I had found.
It was situated against the back
of the cottage, and surrounded
on the sides which were exposed
by a pig-sty and a clear pool
of water. One part was open,
and by that I had crept in; but
now I covered every crevice by
which I might be perceived with
stones and wood, yet in such
a manner that I might move them
on occasion to pass out: all
the light I enjoyed came through
the sty, and that was sufficient
for me.
"Having thus
arranged my dwelling, and carpeted
it with clean straw,
I retired; for I saw the figure
of a man at a distance, and I
remembered too well my treatment
the night before to trust myself
in his power. I had first, however,
provided for my sustenance for
that day, by a loaf of coarse
bread, which I purloined, and
a cup with which I could drink,
more conveniently than from my
hand, of the pure water which
flowed by my retreat. The floor
was a little raised, so that
it was kept perfectly dry, and
by its vicinity to the chimney
of the cottage it was tolerably
warm.
"Being thus
provided, I resolved to reside
in this hovel until
something should occur which
might alter my determination.
It was indeed a paradise compared
to the bleak forest, my former
residence, the rain-dropping
branches, and dank earth. I ate
my breakfast with pleasure, and
was about to remove a plank to
procure myself a little water,
when I heard a step, and looking
through a small chink, I beheld
a young creature, with a pail
on her head, passing before my
hovel. The girl was young, and
of gentle demeanour, unlike what
I have since found cottagers
and farm-house servants to be.
Yet she was meanly dressed, a
coarse blue petticoat and a linen
jacket being her only garb; her
fair hair was plaited, but not
adorned: she looked patient,
yet sad. I lost sight of her;
and in about a quarter of an
hour she returned, bearing the
pail, which was now partly filled
with milk. As she walked along,
seemingly incommoded by the burden,
a young man met her, whose countenance
expressed a deeper despondence.
Uttering a few sounds with an
air of melancholy, he took the
pail from her head, and bore
it to the cottage himself. She
followed, and they disappeared.
Presently I saw the young man
again, with some tools in his
hand, cross the field behind
the cottage; and the girl was
also busied, sometimes in the
house, and sometimes in the yard.
"On examining
my dwelling, I found that one
of the windows
of the cottage had formerly occupied
a part of it, but the panes had
been filled up with wood. In
one of these was a small and
almost imperceptible chink, through
which the eye could just penetrate.
Through this crevice a small
room was visible, whitewashed
and clean, but very bare of furniture.
In one corner, near a small fire,
sat an old man, leaning his head
on his hands in a disconsolate
attitude. The young girl was
occupied in arranging the cottage;
but presently she took something
out of a drawer, which employed
her hands, and she sat down beside
the old man, who, taking up an
instrument, began to play, and
to produce sounds sweeter than
the voice of the thrush or the
nightingale. It was a lovely
sight, even to me, poor wretch!
who had never beheld aught beautiful
before. The silver hair and benevolent
countenance of the aged cottager
won my reverence, while the gentle
manners of the girl enticed my
love. He played a sweet mournful
air, which I perceived drew tears
from the eyes of his amiable
companion, of which the old man
took no notice, until she sobbed
audibly; he than{sic} pronounced
a few sounds, and the fair creature,
leaving her work, knelt at his
feet. He raised her, and smiled
with such kindness and affection
that I felt sensations of a peculiar
and overpowering nature: they
were a mixture of pain and pleasure,
such as I had never before experienced,
either from hunger or cold, warmth
or food; and I withdrew from
the window, unable to bear these
emotions.
"Soon after
this the young man returned,
bearing on his
shoulders a load of wood. The
girl met him at the door, helped
to relieve him of his burden,
and, taking some of the fuel
into the cottage, placed it on
the fire; then she and the youth
went apart into a nook of the
cottage and he showed her a large
loaf and a piece of cheese. She
seemed pleased, and went into
the garden for some roots and
plants, which she placed in water,
and then upon the fire. She afterwards
continued her work, whilst the
young man went into the garden,
and appeared busily employed
in digging and pulling up roots.
After he had been employed thus
about an hour, the young woman
joined him, and they entered
the cottage together.
"The old man
had, in the meantime, been
pensive; but, on the appearance
of his companions, he assumed
a more cheerful air, and they
sat down to eat. The meal was
quickly despatched. The young
woman was again occupied in arranging
the cottage; the old man walked
before the cottage in the sun
for a few minutes, leaning on
the arm of the youth. Nothing
could exceed in beauty the contrast
between these two excellent creatures.
One was old, with silver hairs
and a countenance beaming with
benevolence and love: the younger
was slight and graceful in his
figure, and his features were
moulded with the finest symmetry;
yet his eyes and attitude expressed
the utmost sadness and despondency.
The old man returned to the cottage;
and the youth, with tools different
from those he had used in the
morning, directed his steps across
the fields.
"Night quickly
shut in; but, to my extreme
wonder, I found
that the cottagers had a means
of prolonging light by the use
of tapers, and was delighted
to find that the setting of the
sun did not put an end to the
pleasure I experienced in watching
my human neighbours. In the evening,
the young girl and her companion
were employed in various occupations
which I did not understand; and
the old man again took up the
instrument which produced the
divine sounds that had enchanted
me in the morning. So soon as
he had finished, the youth began,
not to play, but to utter sounds
that were monotonous, and neither
resembling the harmony of the
old man's instrument nor the
songs of the birds: I since found
that he read aloud, but at that
time I knew nothing of the science
of words or letters.
"The family,
after having been thus occupied
for a short time,
extinguished their lights, and
retired, as I conjectured, to
rest. |